will-ingness

So, we signed our contract.  I already said that.  What I didn’t say is that we saved 10% on the consulting fee because we are open to a full African American baby.  I’m really conflicted on this whole thing.  I mean, this is an expensive game, so I’ll save money where I can, but it makes me sad that agencies have to discount some babies and not others.

Our consultant told us that we would probably get placed faster because we are open.  She said that just last week one agency (of many that they work with) called in a panic because they only had two profiles to show a birth mom.  Only two sets of parents that potentially wanted that birth mom’s baby that she is selflessly choosing to place.  (Perhaps another post sometime on the whole “giving up the baby” v. “placing the baby” debate).

I will be the first to concede that not every family should be open to any race with a baby, but I will say that my heart hurts for those babies and for those birth moms.

Now, can someone else please be the one to explain to my 92 year old grandmother that not only is her next great-grandchild not going to be part of the blessed bloodline, but that he or she is going to be black?  Can you say “out of the will”?

community

In an effort to re-commit myself to this whole blogging thing, I decided to sign up for this.  I know.  It’s totally all joiny and not-me, but I did it anyway.

Here’s the deal though.  I got assigned a blog that I already read anyway!  I rule.

trying

So, you know how when prospective adoptive parents have completed all of their paperwork and are in the waiting phase, they say they are pregnant on paper?  Well, we signed our contract with our adoption consultant tonight, so what does that make us?

Also, noteworthy.  Through the magic of facebook, I’ve reconnected with several old friends.  Two of them are two of my closest guy friends from high school.  I would say that they rank up there in my top 5 best friends of all time list.  It just gets tougher to be best friends with guys once you are into that whole marriage phase of life.  So, I’ve veered off topic a bit.  The point is that they are both (along with their respective wives) in the adoption process.  It all just makes me smile.

Getting to know you…getting to know all about you…

What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago was the summer before my senior year of high school.  I was working at the snack bar at our small town country club serving up french fries, nachos with fountain drinks and candy bars.  I was resting peacefully in my newly made decision to attend University of Out-of-State.  And I was having a great time with my friends from church with all sorts of summer trips.  I was getting ready to start a long-drawn out flirting relationship with a boy who would go on to be my first boyfriend and my first kiss.

What are five jobs you have had?
1. Snack Bar Attendant (this job was MADE for me)
2. Christian Bookstore Salesgirl
3. Camp Counselor
4. Retail Manager
5. Healthcare Consulting – Account Manager

What are five places where you have lived?

1. My Parents’ House
2. College Dorm Room
3. Duplex in College Town
4. Apartment in Big City
5. House with Husband in Big City

catching up

I took a little break from blogging.  This is what you missed.

In April I made some new friends.

It’s hard to tell in the picture, but the pair on the right is hot pink patent leather, not red.

In May, I met my mom and my sister in Chicago for Mother’s Day weekend.  We did a lot of shopping and we saw Wicked.

Trying on hats.  She wore a hat in her wedding.  She’s classy like that (and not at all southern, by the way).

For whatever reason, I was not feeling the photo ops that weekend.  Pardon my hunch.

Me and my shadow getting ready to see Wicked.

At the end of May, we moved to our new house!!!  We still have some pictures to hang on the walls, but we are otherwise all moved in!

Entryway.

Living Room.

In June, I went to camp with the high school students from church.

My allergies drove me nuts.  I am definitely more of an inside girl.  And no, I am not picking my nose.

Also in June, the in-laws came for a visit.

Nephew all buckled in and ready to go to the “zoo”.

Niece in her stroller.  She was supposed to be sleeping, but decided she’d rather have fun with her auntie.

Typical photo op involving a two-year old.

faq

Here’s a little FAQ on the adoption stuff.  I’m hoping to chronicle this whole thing decently well as a resource for others that will come behind me.  We’ll see how well that works out for me though!  If I’m being honest, I will tell you that I’ve read zero books on adoption and I’ve done minimal research.  Sorry to all you self-educators, that’s just not my style and I always got good grades, so I see no reason to change it up now!

Q. Domestic or International?

A. We are going to do domestic adoption of a newborn and will be working with multiple agencies through an adoption consultant, so our baby will not necessarily be born in the state that we live in.  There is no major reason why we are not doing an international adoption.  Husband was more comfortable with the idea of domestic, and that was fine with me.

Q. Open or Closed?

A. The level of openness of the adoption is yet to be determined, but will most likely be something of the semi-private variety, where there is not a lot of contact between us and the birth mother/family, but we will have medical history and will hopefully send photos etc. This specifics of this will likely be determined based on what cases come to us.

Q. What about the race of the baby?

A. We are open to any race or gender. Being open will likely get us a baby sooner and non-Caucasian babies are cheaper because the agencies have to discount them because the white babies are more in demand. We are not open because it will possibly make the process shorter or because it is cheaper, but because we don’t think it makes a difference and we believe that we’ll get the baby that God wants us to get.

Q. Are you going to start parking in the expectant mother spots at the grocery store?

A. I’m thinking about it.

dancing in the streets

Sometimes when I think globally, you know…about the whole world.  I think about poverty and wars and strange-to-me cultural things.  I don’t think about the little moments of fun and joy that transcend any cultural boundaries.  I think about people groups with customs and religions, not people with smiles and with souls.

This made me smile.  It even made me tear up a little bit.  It makes me forget about all of the poverty and the wars and the strange-to-me cultural things.  And it makes me think that we’re all the same.  Because we are.

money in coat pockets

Email to family sent on 4/27.

__________________________________________________

Hey, family.
I wanted to let you guys know that Husband and I met with an adoption consultant last week and we’ve decided to that we’re going to move forward with an adoption. We are excited about what’s in store, and hope that you are too.

I want to make sure I communicate that while this is not the way we originally thought that we were going to grow our family, this is very exciting news for us.  We don’t look at it like a second choice, a plan B or a consolation prize.

It’s more like when you accidentally leave $20 in the pocket of your coat and you find it a year after you last wore your coat and it’s so exciting that you found something so great. You feel more rich just because you found something of value, but it’s silly because it was yours all along.

I think that this is always the way that God wanted to give us kids, we just had to do some other stuff and go through some winters with empty coat pockets before we could figure it out.