life happening

So, a few weeks ago, I was talking to Husband’s Brother’s Wife and she kind of caught me off guard when she made a comment about how Mr. Mouse and I have had a rough time of life basically since we got married.

It was funny because we say that we haven’t had our “rough year” yet.  She was referring to Mr. Mouse passing out on the airplane on the way home from our honeymoon, his breaking his leg on our anniversary, the year o’ miscarriages, my sister’s divorce, all this business with Mr. Mouse’s kidney, etc.

I didn’t know how to respond because I don’t feel like our life has been so awful.  The last almost 3 years has been very different from what I planned and there were some pretty dark times, but when I look back on them, I just see how happy I am to be married to who I’m married to, how much I love marriage, how blessed we’ve been to be a part of the community we’re a part of, all of our great friends, etc.

All that being said, yesterday I had a moment of “Why me?”.  This occurred sometime after Mr. Mouse told me that he has an appointment on Friday with a FOURTH doctor and sometime after I realized that tomorrow will be the SEVEN WEEK anniversary of the visit with the FIRST doctor.  It also occurred sometime after my car got hit from behind and forced through an intersection while sitting innocently at a red light at 11pm last night by some idiots who lost a city version of drunken suburban drag racing.

I think the Lord thought I needed a distraction from waiting for Mr. Mouse’s surgery to be scheduled.  And maybe he thought that I needed a mini-van too.  Because buying a new house and a baby in a 6 month period of time is not enough.

So, today I’ve been stranded at home with no wheels doing laundry and moving my neck gingerly (I’m okay, don’t worry – God is good) and eating french fries fried in the deep fryer for lunch.  And I’ve been thinking that I miss the boring days where I would call my parents and they would ask what was new and I wouldn’t have anything to report.

I think I’ve been wallowing a little bit in some self-pity.  Poor me, I’ve got these details to work out surrounding the adoption.  Poor me, my husband’s kidney is the size of a football and he has to have surgery and we are left to helplessly wait for the doctor’s to figure out what to do.  Poor me, my car is totaled and I didn’t need one more thing going awry in my world.

I know what my attitude should be, and I truly see God at work in so many of the crazy details.  Maybe that car accident was just one more thing that will give our testimony some of the dramatic flair that will really speak to people.  Maybe the answer to the “Why me?” question is simply “So that I might be glorified.”

And that is certainly reason enough.

remembering

It was my junior year of college.  My roommates and I woke up every Tuesday morning and drove to campus in our pajamas for a 6:45 prayer gathering at our campus ministry.  Afterwards, most of the group went to a greasy dive for breakfast.

After breakfast, K and I went home, but N stayed on campus.  She called not too long after we got home and told us to the turn the tv on.

It didn’t seem real, but it was.

It was like watching a history book write itself, but so much more realistic than history ever seemed.

I stayed in front of the tv most of the day.

I think I went to campus for a class.  We had a test that day.

People waiting in lines for hours at the gas station, sure that gas prices were going to sky-rocket.  It didn’t seem to me like the price of gas was important that day.

I called my mom.  She was at home in Iowa, far away from anything that was happening inside my tv, but it just seemed like I needed to make sure she was okay.  Were any of us okay?  Would we ever be again?

We are okay, but I remember what it felt like to wonder.

my life in bullet points

• T came over to hang out the other day and brought homework for help in Mr. Mouse’s area of expertise.  They sat at the kitchen table while I made macaroni and cheese for T.  It felt like a pre-deja-vu moment.  Check back in about 17 years and I imagine you’ll see the same picture with a different 17 year old girl.
• Apparently we are “those neighbors”.  Yeah, the ones that go outside in their underwear in the middle of the night to yell at the yipping dog next door.  Well, I’m not “that neighbor”, but I might be married to him.
• I’m in the market for a diaper bag.  I found one online that I like, but I’d like to look a bit more before I purchase.  Anyone have any recommendations?  Requirement: must be cute/trendy.
• Post on baby showers (or maybe showers in general) coming soon.  Until then, who has an opinion about baby showers for adoptive moms – before or after baby is born?  If you’re opinion is different for adoptive moms than for “regular” (ha! adoptive moms everywhere are groaning at me) moms, then please explain the difference.  As an aside, I actually had a friend ask me a long time ago if we would still have a baby shower since we were adopting.  I took the Socratic approach and asked him if he thought that we might still need a few things for a baby that we don’t already have.  He realized he had asked a dumb question and stuck his head in the toilet for me to give him a swirly.  Well, part of that is true.
• I have a friend whose baby is due 6 weeks after Baby Swiss.  Today she was saying that the bedding she wanted was discontinued and that she was going to have to find new baby bedding.  I thought she said she was going to have to find a new “baby buddy” and I thought she was trying to replace me.  Good thing it was just my hearing problems flaring up.
• I prepared a meal for 16 of my in-laws on Saturday.  It was a hit.  I am a good cook sometimes.
• Mr. Mouse’s gut issues are ongoing.  We’re still seeing doctors and still having tests done.  And by “we” I mean him.  We are onto doctor #3 now and he was very impressed with the size of this thing (which we are now led to believe is his kidney blown up to epic (truly!) proportions).  Keeping watching Mystery Diagnosis, you might just see us.
• I used to have high aspirations of being on College Jeopardy.  My mom always told me that I should try Wheel of Fortune instead.  Is it me, or was that her way of telling me that I wasn’t smart enough.   It’s okay, honey, just aim a little lower.
• I’m not happy with One Tree Hill so far this season – hello!  Real issues!  Bring back the fluff, please.  I’m also not going to admit that I’m already hooked on 90210 or that I’m a little bit sad that The Secret Life of the American Teenager is over until 2009.  Can someone please remind my TiVo that I’m a grown-up, or something?  Whatever.

baa

My mom was here this week.  She had bought nearly every stitch of bedding in my house (3 beds worth of bedding) & it gave her great joy (I kid you not, she was fighting back tears) to buy this [yellow] bedding for Baby Swiss.

My plan was to buy gender neutral bedding so that we could use it for all of our kids, but I couldn’t resist the cute-ness of this (plus, for those of you practical minds out there – it was on clearance and had an additional Labor Day weekend sale on top of that).

i went to a wedding last night. here are some pictures.

The Fab Four.  This is my mentoring/accountability group.  B, Me, A & D.  D moved away, so now it’s just the three of us.  (P.S. I promise my hair looked better than it does in the pictures.)

We’re all looking every which way, but this is a longer shot so that you can see how small my waist looks when I stand next to someone whose bo0b cuts in at just the right place on me.

Two of my favorite people.  They have a special bond.