on my third wedding anniversary: to all the men I’ve loved before

Dear C,

I thought you were the one for me when you caught that fly in your pencil box in kindergarten and showed it to me.  What an act of chivalry.  We had the shared experience of the lice outbreak and lived to tell about it.  It was too bad that your family moved away the next year.

Peace, Love & Insects,

Mouse

Dear N,

Ours was an epic romance.  It started in pre-school when I would spank you with my shoes.  We were off and on until 12th grade when we were finally officially on and you were my first real boyfriend.  You gave me my first kiss on the couch in your parents’ basement while we were watching The Breakfast Club on tv.  Long distance hammered the final nail in our relationship coffin.

Peace, Love & Coming of Age,

Mouse

Dear J,

We made great study partners in AP Calculus, but I never should have dated you in college – long distance or not, but you definitely broke my heart.  Now you are gay.  No wonder you never kissed me.

Peace, Love & Invisible Numbers,

Mouse

Dear B,

I never thought we would date or marry, but lots of other people did.  They never understood our friends-with-benefits relationship.  You were the best boy friend I ever had and I love that we both got our brown-skinned daughters the same year.

Peace, Love & After-Hours Kisses on Golf Courses,

Mouse

Dear R,

We never dated, we never lived in the same place, we never went to the same school; but more than anyone else in my life, I was certain that I would marry you.  You were friends in college with all of my friends from high school.  We had so much in common and got along so well whenever we saw each other.  You married a hot, blonde California girl.  Good for you.  You’re a great guy.

Peace, Love & Fantasizing,

Mouse

Dear B,

You are the best friend I ever had and the most tender father I’ve ever witnessed.  I’m so glad you asked me out after I embarrassed myself in front of you by airing all of my dirty laundry and telling all of my shameful secrets.  It’s been 4 years since that first date and 3 years since our wedding.  1 broken bone, 3 lost babies, 1 sweet daughter, 3 new vehicles, 1 less kidney, 1 new house, lots of tears and even more kisses later I wonder what the next 50 years hold for us.  We are a great match, and I can have the most fun doing absolutely nothing with you.  I love that I was your first girlfriend, your first kiss and your first wife.  You, my handsome husband are my first and only love.

Peace, Love & More Love,

Mouse