February 15, 2013
valentime’s day: the only appropriate preschool pronunciation
If you follow me on twitter, you can disregard this entire post.
Yesterday was Baby Swiss’s Valentine’s Day party at preschool.
She wrote her little name on all of her sweet tart (obvs) Valentines for her classmates.
No names on the To: line to salvage the sanity of the preschool teacher.
I was excited for her to have her first Vday exchange and come home with the fun goodies that you expect at this sort of thing.
Also, as a dutiful class mother, I delivered my assigned juice boxes to the door for the class party.
So naturally, come 11:30, I’m excited to hear about the party.
We pick her up, she and Pipsqueak hug each other in the hallway and we head off to the van whilst she remains mostly mute – as per the norm.
Once in the van, I start asking about the party.
I’m horrified to learn that the mom who signed up for treats brought fruit.
I mean fruit is great. I love fruit. It’s tasty and it is good for you.
(Do NOT get me started on the fruit is sugar and sugar is bad for you people. Seriously. Do. Not.)
So, I’m like “Oh, cool. Fruit for a treat. How fun.”
But I’m thinking: “I don’t want to live in a world where fruit is considered a treat.” (FWP, I know.)
My thoughts continued: “It is a special day! Fruit is a great snack for a normal preschool day. But today is a party day. Heart shaped cookies! Brownies with pink sprinkles! Pink dyed rice krispie treats! SOMETHING THAT IS ACTUALLY A TREAT.”
So, I’m a little emotionally jarred about the fruit “treat” and thinking I should have gone crazy and bought juice boxes that weren’t 100% real fruit juice.
Then Baby Swiss starts showing me her Valentines.
There are 12 kids in her class (counting her).
She got 3 pencils. THREE.
That is 25% of her class bringing pencils.
I mean, my kid loves pencils, but she is 4. It’s not like she’s burning through scantron sheets.
To one mother’s credit, one of the pencils has red lead. (Graphite? Whatever.)
So, we dig deeper and she has a temporary tattoo, some stickers and a bouncy ball.
Where is the candy, people?
Believe me on this too…we have LOTS of candy at my house. Gobs.
Candy from Christmas still.
I don’t need my child’s Valentine’s Day candy for my own person caloric gain. I have candy. I have money that I can use to buy candy.
This is a principle thing.
She had only a few pieces of candy that she readily and excitedly shared with her sister.
That I readily and excitedly let them have for lunch.
Because fruit is not a treat.