one

So, we have a birthday party coming up in another month-ish for a certain almost one year old.  I have a few birthday party quandaries.  Before we get to those, let’s review the basics:

• There will be no theme.  I don’t do themes well and I don’t care to spend a bunch of money on things just for the sake of theme-iness.  Don’t get me wrong, themes are cute – just not a strength of mine.  I will probably buy cute disposable plates and napkins in whatever cuteness strikes my fancy and if I’m feeling ambitious, I might get a helium balloon to tie to Baby Swiss’ high chair.  I rarely feel ambitious though.
• There will be no smash cake.  Let me refer back to my lack of ambition on this one.  Baby Swiss will get a piece of cake to do with what she pleases and I’m sure pictures will be taken of a chocolate covered chocolate baby.  I kind of hate the idea of the cake smash (whether it’s a personal cake, a cupcake or a piece of cake).  I feel like it has gotten to be this thing where everyone has these great expectations for this kid to be super cute with the smash and it just puts this pressure on the party that shouldn’t be there.  I will play this part down as much as possible probably by serving everyone else their cake first.
• Since it will be a delicious fall party, the menu will be something of the chili/soup/chowder option variety with the appropriate garnishes and probably some pb&j for the kids.   Send me your great soup recipes now.

Okay, those are the basics.  Now onto the questions:

• How far-reaching do we get with the invite list?  I never know how to handle this.  I don’t like to leave people out, but I don’t want to make people feel like they have to come.  Obviously, we will invite our parents, siblings and Baby Swiss’ birth parents.  We will also invite a small handful of close friends.  The question for me is about inviting Mr. Mouse’s extended family.  He has a set of aunts on his dad’s side that all live within 2 hours of us and who we see fairly regularly.  Do we invite them?
• Gifts.  Do we buy Baby Swiss a gift?  I don’t really feel the need to buy her one.  We buy her everything she needs plus also MORE.  At the same time, is it tacky to not buy your child a gift when you are essentially asking all of the people you invite to the party to bring a gift?  (I don’t care if people bring a gift or not, but I know they will.)  Perhaps the best solution to this is just to wrap up something that we’ve gotten for her recently?  I do feel a little bit about the gift opening like I feel about the cake smash.  There is a lot of pressure on a baby to be really interested in opening gifts, when I seriously doubt she’ll even care once she has one piece of tissue paper in her hands/mouth.

There you have it.  Tell me what to do.

weekend recap

Friday was my dad’s 60th birthday.  Both of my parents are now 60 and they hold the #2 and #3 spots on my Facebook friends list if I order them all by age.  Way to stay up to date, old folks.

Mr. Mouse, Baby Swiss and I headed north for a big party.  My dad is into all thing outdoorsy, so we tried to class that up a bit and use it as a theme.

This is a picture of the buffet table (before the food).  Flowers, pheasant feathers, shotgun shells and camo… who would have thunk it?  (My mom and my sister, that’s who!)

This is what my sister did with the light fixture in the dining room – fishing rods and fishing lures.  She got all of the creative genes and I got the fat jeans.

Here she is at the finished dining room table.  I’d like to state for the record, that I did the favors – the bags with the ribbon had two big pieces of fudge inside.  My mom made the fudge, but cutting it and tying all of those bows was way more labor intensive than throwing some butter and chocolate together.

Here I am with Mr. Mouse and my mom.  Mom and I were making a salad.  Mr. Mouse was just looking handsome.

And here’s the birthday boy – on his actual birthday – with my contribution to the weekend.

Last, but not least – my dad’s favorite daughter.  He says she’s the only one who hasn’t left him.  Maybe he should have tried the shock collar on us.

facts

Fact: I usually skip over poems and song lyrics when I see them in blogs.

Fact: I’m about to post some a poem, that was turned into song lyrics.

So many wrong decisions in my past, I’m not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.
But lately I’ve been thinking,
Cause it’s all I’ve had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I
Should give this child to you.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he’s been loved before, By someone, who delivered your son,
From God’s arms, to my arms, to yours.

If you choose to tell him,
If he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life
Could bear to let him go.
Just tell him there were sleepless nights,
I prayed and paced the floors,
And knew the only peace I’d find,
Was if this child was yours.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he’s been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God’s arms, to my arms, to yours.

This may not be the answer,
For another girl like me.
But I’m not on a soapbox,
Saying how we all should be.
I’m just trusting in my feelings,
And I’m trusting God above,
And I’m trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers’ love.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he’s been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God’s arms, to my arms, to yours.

Fact: It got me a bit teary.

laundry day

Dear Facebook Users,

Please keep in mind that Facebook is not the appropriate place to air your dirty laundry.  I’m not talking about that t-shirt that has a splotch of chewed up and spit out cheerios or yesterday’s socks.  I’m talking about your personal, private business and/or grievances with others.

If you are mad at your friend, tell her/him (let’s be honest, it’s always a her) privately, even *gasp* in person.  If you are disappointed with the way a situation was handled, talk to someone who can fix it and/or apologize.  If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend (let’s be honest, it’s always a boyfriend) broke up and you are having crazy irrational feelings, keep them to yourself.  Trust me, it will save you the embarrassment later when you’re thinking more clearly.

I wish I only saw these types of behaviors from my teenage “friends”, but sadly that is not the case.  I have a few rules that would do us all well to live by (or so I think):

1. If you’re thinking about posting something that is emotional charged or emotionally driven, wait 24 hours.  If you’re still feeling it, then maybe it’s worth the post.  My money is on the reality being that you don’t still feel it 24 hours later.
2. If you can’t own your feelings enough to say what you want to someone’s face, then you don’t get to say it behind their back or otherwise passive aggressively.

Yes, I’m brilliant, I know.

As an example of appropriate status updates, I’d like to reference a list of items that are in an email floating around out there:

• I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
• There is a great need for sarcasm font.
• Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
• How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
• Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
• Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
• I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
• Bad decisions make good stories
• Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from; this shouldn’t be a problem….
• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
• There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
• I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
• Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
• I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.
• I wonder if cops ever get annoyed at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel fat before dinner.

That’s it folks.  It’s just not that hard.  It’s also always okay to talk about bacon, popular television shows or regional sports.  Some of those may be fairly unoriginal and tired though.  And by some, I don’t mean the bacon.

Regards,

Anonymouse

an ode to the waffle fry

Yesterday, Baby Swiss and I met a friend and her toddler at our beloved Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  I mean really, what other fast food eating establishment sends someone trolling around the lobby offering to get you a drink refill?  Sure, I might have had some really great experiences at Chick-Fil-A in the past, but really it’s great.

If you don’t have on in your area, I feel sorry for you.  Sorry you don’t get the waffle fries.  Sorry you don’t get the nuggets.  Sorry you don’t get the 102 calories-a-pop ranch dipping packets.  Sorry you don’t get the relatively clean play place.  Sorry you don’t get the nifty sticky-to-the-table child place mats.  Sorry you don’t get the kid’s meal toy that you can save from the depths of your kid’s toy box by trading it in for a free ice cream cone.  Sorry.

Today, we got the usual offer to carry our tray to our table for us, the usual offer for free refills as we sat at our table enjoying our waffle fries and today we got a free little board book kid’s toy for Baby Swiss to play with while I ate.  Just because.  Just because Chick-Fil-A is our little taste of heaven right here on earth.

So, in case you didn’t know, I went to Chick-Fil-A today.  After our lovely luncheon of waffle fries and nuggets, we were in the play area and this 2ish year-old little boy took a bit of a liking to Baby Swiss.  If “liking” can be described by unsolicited hand holding, foot grabbing, kicking and commands of “NO”.

He wasn’t hurting her and she wasn’t protesting, so I didn’t really care.  His mom was sitting at a table just outside the door and could see him and kept popping in to reprimand him and I kept telling her that he wasn’t hurting her and it was fine.  I did appreciate that she was keeping an eye on her kid to prevent the whole issue of having to boss someone else’s child.

After the 4th or 5th time she popped in, she asked me if Baby Swiss my first/only.  She paid me what I consider to be a high compliment by telling me that she couldn’t believe that I was that laid back.  I don’t know if I’m laid back or not – I mean I might have snatched that gnarly orange smiley face sticker that my kid found on the ground right out of her hands before she could snack on it.

I suppose she wouldn’t have been so hungry for the sticker if her mom had shared more of her waffle fries with her.

authority

I went with a friend tonight to help her set up her baby registry.  We are very excited around these parts to have a friend! that lives close! who is having a baby! and will be staying home! at her house! just 7 minutes away!  In case the exclamation points didn’t tip you off.  We’re happy.

My favorite part of the whole night was when we were looking at bottles and my friend looks at me and says, “How long do people nurse for?”  She then asserted that because I have a baby, I know these things.

I mean because I’m clearly the authority on breastfeeding due to the fact that I was not breastfed, was never sold on the idea of breastfeeding, and then when I adopted my child did not choose to try to induce lactation and therefore became a bottle-feeding mama from day one.

I’m such the authority that I mixed a bottle of formula right then and there in the aisle of Target and gave it to my kid to feed herself.

And now I have to stop because I’m tearing up watching the Duggars renew their vows.

packed and played

Last week Mr. Mouse, Baby Swiss and I went on a little vacation.  We wanted to go away together somewhere – just our little family of three, but we didn’t want to spend much money since you know – we bought our child last year and all.  We ended up taking a little road trip to a popular town, one state over.  And when I say popular, I mean popular to the over 60 crowd.  And when I say over 60, I really mean 70+.

We even decided to embrace it and eat at Denny’s once.  Now, if you’re reading this, you probably haven’t been to Denny’s lately because you are on the internet and therefore, probably not a white-haired, elastic-waist parents wearing brunch-er.  I think it’s safe to say that when the three of us – average age: 20.3 – walked in, the average age of the people in the restaurant didn’t even budge.

They sure seemed happy to see a sweet smiling baby though.  Until she threw her french fries on the floor.

Just kidding, I’m a great mother and wouldn’t give my child something fried and void of nutritional value.

Just kidding, I totally would.

So to recap, family vacation #1 is over and done with.  And we ate at Denny’s.  And we took the requisite picture of the baby in the suitcase.

Proof that she isn’t ALWAYS wearing a hair accessory.

six months of life

Since no one really cares what I have to say, let’s get on with the pictures.  This baby is magical, I tell ya.  She’s been changing like crazy in this six month blogging sabbatical.  So now I present to you my favorite pictures for each month I was gone.  I posted pictures in April, so we’ll start with May.

05.09

Here is Baby Swiss and her birth mom at T’s graduation.  Look at all of those honor cords.  Way to go, T!

First time in a high chair other than home.  Thanks for the memories, Chick-Fil-A.

06.09

First trip to the pool.  Pardon the crusty nose.

Her future’s so bright, she’s got to wear shades.

07.09

Just being cute in July.  You can’t see it in the picture, but there are two teeth in that cute mouth.

There are those teeth.

08.09

We enjoyed the end of summer and got all of the wear out of our halter tops and summer hair accessories.

Baby Swiss had her first bomb pop and at the same time, her first time to dress up like the Joker from Batman.

09.09

Baby Swiss continued her world domination by sitting on the shoulders of anyone who would let her.  Here, grandpa is her willing pawn.

Baby Swiss slowly started to figure out that she can stand up without holding on to anything. It’s not nearly as cool as crawling though.

This concludes our retrospective.  Here we are today.  A ridiculously happy family of three.

funny stuff

I’ve been spending a lot of time the last six weeks or so thinking about where we were this time last year.  I mean, I was in the midst of one of the craziest, most uncertain times in my entire life.  It’s only natural to think about how far we’ve come in the last twelve months.

In the fall of 2008, we had committed to adopt this baby in a crazy open adoption situation that we had never dreamed of, and were hopefully hoping that all would work out and we would bring home a tiny baby to dress in tiny little things.  We were treading uncertain waters with a major/scary medical diagnosis/treatment with Mr. Mouse.

Thinking back to where we were this time last year, makes me think back to where we were this time two years ago.  Fall of 2007 was probably one of the darkest times of my life, although I didn’t realize it until I came out of the fog.  Had our first pregnancy stuck, we would have had a new baby in October 2007.  Instead, we were watching friends get pregnant and have babies and be pretty insensitive to our two lost babies, and I was trying hard to count my blessings.  But really.  Really, all I wanted was a baby and it was hard to see where the path we were on was taking us in the midst of the storm.

It’s funny how clearly the path behind you is, even with all of its twists and turns and bumps.  It’s funny how easy it is in hindsight to see what was in the way of the road, that caused it to veer so quickly in one direction or another.  It’s funny how much each of those bumps and ruts along the way condition you and shape you, even though at the time, they just leave you feeling battered and bruised.

It’s funny how quickly you’d take the exact same road all over again just to taste the sweetness of reaching that perfect destination.

stay tuned…

This fickle pickle may be coming back soon.

Or maybe not.

I bet the suspense is killing you.