November 1, 2007

do I know you?

Posted in mousie at 6:38 pm by Anonymouse

I often remind myself and my husband of the “way I used to be” or the “old me”. The me back when he met me who was clever and witty and really funny. Outgoing and confident and smart.  My friend’s husband used to ask to read the emails I sent her because they were so clever.  I mean, how do you think I reeled in Husband?  Somewhere along the way I’ve lost that version of me. I used to think that the stress that my job ended up becoming sucked it out of me or squashed it somehow. Now that I’ve not been working, it hasn’t come back and I’ve attributed that to the toll that this baby-making fiasco has taken. I was kind of resolved to get to know the now me/new me better rather than longingly reminisce about the me that I miss being.

I lost that resolve this week.

I lost that resolve because I saw that me! I saw her. She was with her friends and was hilarious and laughing and punny and chatty and did I mention hilarious? That was Tuesday night. I saw her again today. I was meeting at my former employer to discuss my upcoming employment stint and I was talking with co-workers about work and I was aware and confident and capable. I was me.

So, now that I know she’s in there somewhere, how do I find her more often? I like her way better than the me I’ve been seeing lately. She totally rocks.

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3 Comments »

  1. Tina said,

    It is amazing when we realize the “old me” is still hanging around in there, despite the current circumstances and hurts. It took me a very long time to find me again…and when I did, it was nice to know that I could be the “old me” with life events that I learned from rather than the “new me” who was bound and tied by those life events.

    Hope the old you sticks around… It would be good for her to be there when TTC factors back into your life.

  2. Goslyn said,

    Oh yes, my new me has eclipsed my old me too. What a great post! Let me know if you ever figure out how to get the old you to stay around.

  3. circlesbecomeme said,

    Here from Mel’s extravaganza… a belated congradulations on finding ‘you’ again, even if just for a moment. I haven’t read any other posts of yours yet because I just want to take a moment and enjoy someone’s great news. I hope a new version of the old you emerges and rocks the world! Actually I hope the same for me too:)


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