February 29, 2008

the almost

Posted in mousie at 10:16 am by Anonymouse

Calliope has chosen today as a day to remember babies lost to miscarriage.  I love the idea of doing it on February 29th.  I love to imagine what my life will look like the next time this date comes around.

In honor of “the almost”, I am also choosing today to share with my 3 readers that I’ve lost a third baby last week.  I managed to squeak the third loss in just under the one year mark of the first loss and within the same doomed month.  This pregnancy managed to hang on for between 8 and 9 weeks which means it was my longest pregnancy yet, and also my (physically) toughest miscarriage.  It was filled with the same ups and downs as most pregnancies that end in loss.  The positive hpt followed by the low hcg blood test.  The 48 hour doubling of the hcg and then the empty sac on the ultrasound.  The heartbeat on the ultrasound and then the only 4 days of growth one week later.

When I went in for my first blood draw, the phlebotomist asked if it was my first baby.  I didn’t know the right answer to that question:  yes?  no?  hopefully?  I wish?

We don’t know what’s coming next for us as we move forward, but I look forward to February 29, 2012 as I pray these verses:

Psalm 30:11-12 (NLT):

  You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
      You have taken away my clothes of mourning & clothed me with joy,
  that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
      O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!



  1. Jen said,

    I’m so sorry. I will remember those three babies with you.

  2. Calliope said,

    In 4 years I hope we are all in a joyful place.
    thinking of you.

  3. Tina said,

    I am so, so sorry…. *Hugs* Will be remembering your babies today…

  4. singletracey said,

    Im so sorry sweetie.. the pain is terrible and unfair. You are in my thoughts today….and tomorrow… and until you get to hold that baby in your arms.

  5. Oh, no, anonymouse. I am so sorry. So very sorry.

  6. Sandra said,

    I am so sorry.

  7. Sarah Abrahams said,

    I’m so sorry. How I wish I could do something to ease your pain. Know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.

  8. Searching said,

    I am so very sorry. Saying a prayer for you and your three children.

  9. I am so sorry for your losses. When I went in for confirmation of my fourth loss today, my phlebotomist told me to “have a nice day”…so, my guess is they should stick to needles, and avoid talking. Sending healing thoughts your way and the wish next 2/29 will be filled with happiness.

  10. Maggie said,

    I am so sorry to read this.

    I know you don’t want dinner, but I would bring you ice cream.

  11. Kat said,

    I am so very sorry for your losses. What a beautiful verse; sending prayers and wishes for healing your way.

  12. Rach said,

    I missed this post too. You know I wish nothing but lots and lots of babies for you, very soon.

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