January 16, 2009

perspective

Posted in mousie at 11:27 am by Anonymouse

Perspective…it’s a tricky little bug, isn’t it?

I went to my first mom’s group this week – despite the fact that I didn’t want to – and I ran into pretty much the same thing I run into with the mommy-bloggers on the internet.

Moms in real life are the same as moms on the internet?  Shocker, I know.

Okay, I’m going to take a brief moment for a disclaimer:

  1. I understand that I’ve been doing this mom thing for all of 7.5 weeks.
  2. I understand that I’ve been doing this mom thing with an infant who doesn’t get into stuff and pretty much eats, sleeps, poops, lather, rinse, repeat.

That being said, I have to say that I don’t get all of these moms who spend the majority of their time with other moms complaining about their kids/life as a mom.  I know most of these people CHOSE to get pregnant ON PURPOSE and CHOSE to have their children with whatever age difference separates them ON PURPOSE.

Here’s the thing.  I know that everyone’s reality is their own reality.  I know that my reality is that it took me more time, energy and heartache to achieve mom status than it does for the average mom; and that obviously this has shaped and colored the glasses through which I see my circumstances.  I wept tears of joy that first night that I was up with Baby Swiss in the hospital as she fussed and fussed.  I had been dreaming about being up in the night with a fussy baby.  Likewise, I’m in no hurry for Baby Swiss to sleep through the night or reach whatever else the next developmental milestone is supposed to be.  I’ve been so looking forward to nighttime feedings and spit up on my carpet and extra laundry and eating a cold supper because of attending to the baby.

That’s my reality.  I know that it is hard to understand if you didn’t live it.

Rather than cast too much judgment on the mommy-whiners out there, I’m trying to look at my life and see the things that I’m taking for granted and make some corrections.

Once I have that perfected though, look out mommy-whiners, I’m coming after you.

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3 Comments »

  1. Jen said,

    I just don’t like people who whine, regardless of what they are whining about. But yeah, I don’t like people who whine about their kids. Plus, when the kids can understand, how does that make them feel?

  2. Joy said,

    You have a great post and an even greater perspective.

    I don’t really like whining in general, from kids or adults, moms or dads, or anyone else. It shows the heart is not thankful. This doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of it, but I do watch myself carefully on this beacuse I despise it in others.

  3. Rach said,

    …which is EXACTLY why I don’t attend that mommy group.

    🙂 Although you have probably read my blog sometimes and read my whining about the kids fighting, etc. Sometimes when you are in the midst of it it seems so hard, but I guess I do realize that, and alot of people don’t. I realize that my kids are wonderful, amazing gifts and I don’t take a single day with them for granted.

    I just can’t do Mommy groups. I really don’t care to hear who pushed out the placenta or why you hate your screaming kids, or how much your husband sucks.

    Really.


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