September 5, 2010
I was facebook stalking – as we all tend to do from time to time – and looked through some pictures of a high school classmate’s new baby.
As I was looking, I saw something that made me jealous.
And let me tell you something, all of you biological moms. There isn’t much about your way of doing things that makes me jealous these days.
You can keep your stretch marks, your mesh p@anties, your post-delivery bathroom squirt bottles and industrial sized maxi pads.
I will never be sad to not partake in swapping stories of stitches in private places or knowing what it feels like to be “checked” or losing bladder control.
Do you know what I am jealous of though?
You know the one. It’s about 32 oz, clear plastic-y, bendy style straw and a lid. I think every hospital in the country passes them out and probably half of the OB practices.
Adoption agencies should really start handing those guys out with their receipts or something.
It’s not like giving birth is a pre-requisite for thirst.