November 1, 2011

…the good times, the bad times… …that’s what blogs are for…

Posted in mousie at 7:50 pm by Anonymouse

So I think I already said somewhere that I’m going to be giving a portion of my testimony at my mom’s group.

Well, I’ve been working through it and I have a few thoughts:

  1. Thank goodness for the blog.  Seriously, I’ve discovered whole chunks of things that I had completely forgotten about.
  2. Filling up 25 minutes may not be as hard as I initially thought.
  3. I’m not as funny as I think I am.
  4. Going back through all of the infertility stuff has been way more emotional than I expected.  Seriously, I talk about it casually often, but the emotions that come up in formally reliving it all have totally caught me off guard.
  5. The biggest thing I’ve realized is just how self-focused I was during the infertility.  I think I was so concerned with the fact that no one “got it” that I allowed myself to stew over and internalize every hurtful word, action or inaction; justifying the self-involvement to myself.  That got me to a selfish AND bitter place.  And that place ain’t pretty.  It is incredibly hard to be in a tough place and to feel like no one understands though.  Maybe I needed a shrink.
  6. Maybe I still need a shrink.

1 Comment »

  1. HereWeGoAJen said,

    You don’t need a shrink, you have US.

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