funny stuff

October 2, 2009

funny stuff

I’ve been spending a lot of time the last six weeks or so thinking about where we were this time last year.  I mean, I was in the midst of one of the craziest, most uncertain times in my entire life.  It’s only natural to think about how far we’ve come in the last twelve months.

In the fall of 2008, we had committed to adopt this baby in a crazy open adoption situation that we had never dreamed of, and were hopefully hoping that all would work out and we would bring home a tiny baby to dress in tiny little things.  We were treading uncertain waters with a major/scary medical diagnosis/treatment with Mr. Mouse.

Thinking back to where we were this time last year, makes me think back to where we were this time two years ago.  Fall of 2007 was probably one of the darkest times of my life, although I didn’t realize it until I came out of the fog.  Had our first pregnancy stuck, we would have had a new baby in October 2007.  Instead, we were watching friends get pregnant and have babies and be pretty insensitive to our two lost babies, and I was trying hard to count my blessings.  But really.  Really, all I wanted was a baby and it was hard to see where the path we were on was taking us in the midst of the storm.

It’s funny how clearly the path behind you is, even with all of its twists and turns and bumps.  It’s funny how easy it is in hindsight to see what was in the way of the road, that caused it to veer so quickly in one direction or another.  It’s funny how much each of those bumps and ruts along the way condition you and shape you, even though at the time, they just leave you feeling battered and bruised.

It’s funny how quickly you’d take the exact same road all over again just to taste the sweetness of reaching that perfect destination.

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