“If I knew your name and address, I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils.”

You’ve Got Mail

Back-to-school shopping for school supplies was always one of my favorite activities of the year.  I like organization.  I like binder clips and tabs and 3-hole punchers and 3-ring binders and folders.  At the core of my being, I believe in staplers and highlighters and paper clips and color coding.  I always relished walking the aisles of Jacks, choosing notebooks and folders that color coordinated.  Don’t even get me started on the pencil cases and Trapper Keepers.  Oh Trapper Keepers.

In college, I had my school supply needs streamlined to one binder with loose-leaf paper and various tabs for each of my classes.  Each tab contained a folder with pockets for anything that wasn’t 3-hole punched.  Don’t worry though, I owned my own 3-hole punch.

I also have a binder for each semester of Bible studies that I either led or participated in.  Included are all of the discussion questions, my notes and any other relevant paraphernalia.  These binders live today on a shelf in my basement.

At my career-type of job, I lived and died by a binder of information and it’s corresponding pdf form.  It was the way I walked clients through initial information and it was the way I would send them their updated information in an ongoing fashion.  We ordered case after case after case of binders and tabs and I think I sent out thousands of pdfs.  I love binders.

I even know the ins and outs of the binders and what to look for in a good binder.  Does it have side pockets?  More than one?  Do the rings lock?  Is it a D-ring?  Is the ring on the spine or on the bottom end?  Does it have a clear plastic pocket on the outside?  There are many many options.

Today I brought home my most important binder to date.  It isn’t what I was expecting - a dark and heavy 3″ binder with locking D-rings that would seem unapproachable and intimidating.  It’s just a quiet, little unassuming 1″ white binder with the standard Avery 10 tabs.

It’s special though. Important even.

It isn’t the size of the binder that makes it important or the fact that I was wearing my cute plaid espadrilles AND having a good hair day when I got it, (although I’m glad that both are true).

This little binder is going to make me a mom.

I was inspired by Haley-O to make a list of some things I like about myself.  You do it next, and tell me about it please.  Here goes:

1. I have a good fashion sense.  I may not exercise it at all times, but I do know how to buy clothes for my body - both colors and styles - and I do know how to put together complete outfits - clothes with shoes and jewelry.
2. I’m smart.  I am.  I know I come off like an airhead sometimes a lot of times (even on my own blog), but I’m smart.  I like to say it’s a little combo of book smart and street smart.  When I was in high school, a friend from youth group who went to a different school found out that I had straight A’s (don’t worry, it was just easy high school junk and also don’t worry, I went on to get a B in chemistry), and he was shocked.  That was the first time I realized that the impression I unintentionally give off is not always consistent with reality.  That impression is genuine, it’s just not the whole picture.
3. I am a good baker.  Anymore, it seems like scratch baking is a dying art, but it really isn’t much harder than buying a mix at the store and it tastes SO. MUCH. BETTER.  Please don’t start doing it if you don’t already though.  I like to impress people with my scratch baking, and if everyone does it, it’s just not that impressive.
4. I can type really fast.  I chalk it up to chat rooms being cool back when I was in my learning-to-type years in late junior high/early high school.
5. I’m excellent at Scrabble, Scattegories and Trivia Games.  (See #2 above.)  Seriously.  You want to be on my team.
6. I’m good at planning things.  I make organized lists, think of details and execute well.  I took a spiritual gifts test once and I scored high in the Administration/Ruling category.  Yes, I rule.

Okay, so I guess I’m pretty great.  Who doesn’t want to be friends with me now?

When I was in 9th grade, I had to do a demonstrative speech.  I stole my idea took a cue from Hey Dude and did a “How To Pack a Suitcase” speech.  It was stellar.  I mean, I know my stuff.  I know all about packing multiple tops that can be worn with the same bottoms and choosing a color theme that only require one pair of shoes.  I know the rules.

I just have a hard time following them.

Options!  I like options!  And only one pair of shoes for an entire weekend with a variety of events ranging from laying on the sofa in sweats to visiting a 92 year-old grandmother at her assisted living apartment to touring floodlands to hanging out with 60-somethings at a Fourth of July partay?  I not only like options, I NEED them!

I am going away until Saturday with:

• three pairs of shoes
• one pair of pants
• two pairs of shorts
• two pairs of capris
• five tops

I wonder what I’m forgetting…

So, we signed our contract.  I already said that.  What I didn’t say is that we saved 10% on the consulting fee because we are open to a full African American baby.  I’m really conflicted on this whole thing.  I mean, this is an expensive game, so I’ll save money where I can, but it makes me sad that agencies have to discount some babies and not others.

Our consultant told us that we would probably get placed faster because we are open.  She said that just last week one agency (of many that they work with) called in a panic because they only had two profiles to show a birth mom.  Only two sets of parents that potentially wanted that birth mom’s baby that she is selflessly choosing to place.  (Perhaps another post sometime on the whole “giving up the baby” v. “placing the baby” debate).

I will be the first to concede that not every family should be open to any race with a baby, but I will say that my heart hurts for those babies and for those birth moms.

Now, can someone else please be the one to explain to my 92 year old grandmother that not only is her next great-grandchild not going to be part of the blessed bloodline, but that he or she is going to be black?  Can you say “out of the will”?

In an effort to re-commit myself to this whole blogging thing, I decided to sign up for this.  I know.  It’s totally all joiny and not-me, but I did it anyway.

Here’s the deal though.  I got assigned a blog that I already read anyway!  I rule.

So, you know how when prospective adoptive parents have completed all of their paperwork and are in the waiting phase, they say they are pregnant on paper?  Well, we signed our contract with our adoption consultant tonight, so what does that make us?

Also, noteworthy.  Through the magic of facebook, I’ve reconnected with several old friends.  Two of them are two of my closest guy friends from high school.  I would say that they rank up there in my top 5 best friends of all time list.  It just gets tougher to be best friends with guys once you are into that whole marriage phase of life.  So, I’ve veered off topic a bit.  The point is that they are both (along with their respective wives) in the adoption process.  It all just makes me smile.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago was the summer before my senior year of high school.  I was working at the snack bar at our small town country club serving up french fries, nachos with fountain drinks and candy bars.  I was resting peacefully in my newly made decision to attend University of Out-of-State.  And I was having a great time with my friends from church with all sorts of summer trips.  I was getting ready to start a long-drawn out flirting relationship with a boy who would go on to be my first boyfriend and my first kiss.

What are five jobs you have had?
1. Snack Bar Attendant (this job was MADE for me)
2. Christian Bookstore Salesgirl
3. Camp Counselor
4. Retail Manager
5. Healthcare Consulting - Account Manager

What are five places where you have lived?

1. My Parents’ House
2. College Dorm Room
3. Duplex in College Town
4. Apartment in Big City
5. House with Husband in Big City

I took a little break from blogging.  This is what you missed.

In April I made some new friends.

It’s hard to tell in the picture, but the pair on the right is hot pink patent leather, not red.

In May, I met my mom and my sister in Chicago for Mother’s Day weekend.  We did a lot of shopping and we saw Wicked.

Trying on hats.  She wore a hat in her wedding.  She’s classy like that (and not at all southern, by the way).

For whatever reason, I was not feeling the photo ops that weekend.  Pardon my hunch.

Me and my shadow getting ready to see Wicked.

At the end of May, we moved to our new house!!!  We still have some pictures to hang on the walls, but we are otherwise all moved in!

Entryway.

Living Room.

In June, I went to camp with the high school students from church.

My allergies drove me nuts.  I am definitely more of an inside girl.  And no, I am not picking my nose.

Also in June, the in-laws came for a visit.

Nephew all buckled in and ready to go to the “zoo”.

Niece in her stroller.  She was supposed to be sleeping, but decided she’d rather have fun with her auntie.

Typical photo op involving a two-year old.

Here’s a little FAQ on the adoption stuff.  I’m hoping to chronicle this whole thing decently well as a resource for others that will come behind me.  We’ll see how well that works out for me though!  If I’m being honest, I will tell you that I’ve read zero books on adoption and I’ve done minimal research.  Sorry to all you self-educators, that’s just not my style and I always got good grades, so I see no reason to change it up now!

Q. Domestic or International?

A. We are going to do domestic adoption of a newborn and will be working with multiple agencies through an adoption consultant, so our baby will not necessarily be born in the state that we live in.  There is no major reason why we are not doing an international adoption.  Husband was more comfortable with the idea of domestic, and that was fine with me.

Q. Open or Closed?

A. The level of openness of the adoption is yet to be determined, but will most likely be something of the semi-private variety, where there is not a lot of contact between us and the birth mother/family, but we will have medical history and will hopefully send photos etc. This specifics of this will likely be determined based on what cases come to us.

Q. What about the race of the baby?

A. We are open to any race or gender. Being open will likely get us a baby sooner and non-Caucasian babies are cheaper because the agencies have to discount them because the white babies are more in demand. We are not open because it will possibly make the process shorter or because it is cheaper, but because we don’t think it makes a difference and we believe that we’ll get the baby that God wants us to get.

Q. Are you going to start parking in the expectant mother spots at the grocery store?

A. I’m thinking about it.

Sometimes when I think globally, you know…about the whole world.  I think about poverty and wars and strange-to-me cultural things.  I don’t think about the little moments of fun and joy that transcend any cultural boundaries.  I think about people groups with customs and religions, not people with smiles and with souls.

This made me smile.  It even made me tear up a little bit.  It makes me forget about all of the poverty and the wars and the strange-to-me cultural things.  And it makes me think that we’re all the same.  Because we are.